Unfcomfortably Numb

I clench my hand into a fist
Dig the nails in deep
I need to know that I’m still alive
There is nothing I can do to keep
Myself from going numb

I feel so tired
Tired of trying to reassure myself…
That I’m not going insane
I can’t find my breath
I can’t feel heat or pain
They told me everything would be fine
But what’s the point in living
When nothing feels like mine

And where does this all stop
Will I suddenly feel okay once more
I can’t find a trigger
But I know it’s been done before
I can’t keep thinking like this
It’s teasing me inside
Am I living or have I died

The Apple Tree

The seed we planted
Has grown no crop
Instead before me
Begins to grow – an apple tree
You said we’ll take the fruit once ripened
And use it for our own
But I’ve been waiting years
And still no fruit has grown

 

The seasons change fast
From sun to rain
But still the tree stands alone
No fleshy leaves, just bark and bone
You told me to wait patiently
That we’ll harvest soon
But I do not see a single fruit
And it has already reached its 12th June

 

Perhaps it is the soil
No nutrients to provide
Or maybe the sun has not yet shone
On the fruit that should be growing there with pride
For you were once excited to see
Roots growing strong and deep
But now you have fallen victim to apathy
And our beloved apple tree—
Lies in parts amongst the compost heap